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Showing posts from January, 2020

Forgiveness: How to Forgive Small, Medium and Great Wounds

There was a time in my life when I struggled with the religious idea of forgiveness.I even wrote a letter to a famous TV pastor and asked him questions about forgiveness.I remember receiving his reply in the mail and feeling crushed, unheard. You see forgiveness had been presented to me as a band-aid, one that covered over another person’s mistake in such a way that abusive people were off the hook.They made little or no distinctions between a small offense and an offense that is enormous.I also watched a family member continue to forgive their spouse for infidelity and abuse without a change in behavior.Is that Biblical forgiveness? I’ve thought a great deal about forgiveness.And I believe in forgiveness.But it’s not a band-aid that covers over great wounds nor should it ever be used to enable a human being to batter, beat, abuse or continue to wound.That concept of forgiveness does not have a sense of justice for the victim of such abuse.Even God asks us for repentance and change. So,…

Rebooting Your Relationship: Dealing With Conflict

We have been in a series entitle Relationship Reboot on how to bring refreshment to marriages, partners and friends.So far we have discussed why it begins with becoming mature and what maturity looks like.We noted that becoming mature was more than just adulting—showing up for work on time, paying bills but that maturity involved being able to respect others, listen well, love well as well as being able to set boundaries, practice self-care and interpret one’s feelings.
We also noted last week that a healthy relationship also involves the myriad of ways we tend our relationships.We offer affection, say we care and express our love toward our spouse or partner.We also notice and appreciate how our partners or family members help us, support us and how those behaviors leave deposits in our partner’s love bank.
This week are going to review conflict and offer some strategies to help in resolving conflict.And we will examine 4 aspects that influence the outcome of our conflicts.
First, The F…

A Foundation of Friendship for a Lasting Relationship

We have begun a series entitled relationship reboot that’s all about refreshing our relationships so that we can create lasting marriages and families.  This series also has a lot to do with other kinds of relationships that involve friends and family members.  Last week we talked about becoming mature and how growing emotionally and spiritually helps us become the kind of people who are able to have healthy relationships.  It begins with us and when we are growing emotionally and spiritually, we find that we have greater resources and insights that help us be a better friend or partner or spouse.  This week we are going to examine how building a friendship helps couples stay connected and build not just emotionally but also physical intimacy.  The Bible speaks often about a one flesh relationship.  What does that even mean? 
There is a story in the beginning of the Bible that tells about how God created the first human.God noted that it was not good for the man to be alone.Instead of…